


The Burden of Knowing Too Much and Never Enough

by QueenOfTheLibrary



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom, Thor (Movies)
Genre: BAMF Darcy Lewis, Darcy Lewis-centric, F/M, Gen, Multi, Visions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-10-06 00:45:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17335496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfTheLibrary/pseuds/QueenOfTheLibrary
Summary: Darcy Lewis sees the future. She saves herself, and maybe the world?





	1. The Changes Already Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the times that Darcy has seen the future before. WARNING there’s some disturbing stuff in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Please read carefully, some disturbing stuff in this chapter.

Darcy Lewis was nine years old when she saw the future for the first time. She was reading a book in class having already finished her assigned work when it happened. The classroom around her and the book in her hands all suddenly disappear. Darcy finds herself standing outside of the school instead of sitting in her classroom where she should be. She barely has enough time to mutter “What the hell?” To herself before things get even weirder. She sees herself, in the same clothes she’s wearing now, walking the same way she always walks to go home after school. Looking down at herself she notices she’s not completely solid here, wherever here is. She _thinks_ ‘here’ might be the future, that maybe she’s seeing what will happen later today. Either that or she’s just crazy. Deciding to just go with the weird Darcy follows her other self as she walks home.

When she gets to her house, she sees her step-father’s car outside. Even though they live in the same house and he’s her legal guardian, they rarely cross paths. Which the both of them prefer. He doesn’t like Darcy, and Darcy thinks he’s an asshole. He doesn’t usually come home until late at night or early morning. Then he’ll sleep until the afternoon and leave again shortly after waking up. Despite how hard she tries, Darcy can’t stop the hope that blooms in her again as she sees his shoes sitting by the front door. Maybe this time would be different. 

Darcy watches as she finds her stepfather sitting in the living room. Both Darcy’s frown and any hope felt is quickly replaced with dread when they spot the empty bottle in her step-father’s hand. He got extra mean when he was drinking. She tried to quickly walk by to go to her room but as she passed him he grabbed her arm. Darcy watches herself ask to be let go and watches how angry her step-father gets. She listens as her step father starts yelling about how horrible she is, and ungrateful, and selfish, and dumb, and about how lucky she is that he kept her when her mother left and how dare she ask for anything, how dare she ask to be let go. Both Darcy’s are in tears when he finishes yelling at her. Darcy watches him pull back his arm and hit her. Darcy watches as unlike the other times this has happened, this time he doesn’t stop, not even when Darcy watches herself lose consciousness. Darcy Lewis is nine, when she watches herself die. 

_Change it._

Those words echo in her mind as she suddenly finds herself back in the classroom staring at the pages of her book. She continues to stare at the pages as she thinks about the horrifying scene she just saw. She knows it was real, she can feel it. She’s going to die today if she doesn’t change it. Darcy quickly wipes the tears that had fallen down her face, thankful no one noticed. She starts to think about what to do, how to change what she saw. When the bell rings ending the school day, Darcy approaches her teacher. She hopes that she’ll believe her. 

“Miss Macfield, could I talk to you?” Darcy asks her teacher once the other kids are gone. 

“What is it Darcy?” Miss Macfield replies looking up at her from the work she’s grading. 

Drawing in a deep breath and gathering all the courage she has Darcy speaks again. 

“My step-dad hits me.” 

Miss Macfield stares at her for a minute before she says anything. 

“Do you have any proof?” 

“What? I- proof?” Darcy replies, unable to think of anything else to say in response. 

“Your step-father is a good man. You can’t just throw around accusations against him without proof. I’m sure it’s hard on you, skipping two grades, being surrounded by older kids, and I know your step-father works a lot but this isn’t how you get his or my attention. Your step-father took you in and raised you alone after your mother left when you were a baby. He deserves your respect. I’ve known your stepfather since high school, he would never hurt anyone. I’ll do you a favour this once, and not tell him what you tried to do today.” Miss Macfield goes back to her grading ignoring Darcy. 

As Darcy leaves she tries not to cry. She tried to change it but her teacher didn’t believe her. She hates living in such a small town where everyone knows everyone, they all think her step-father is a good man. No one will believe her. Darcy starts to very slowly make her way home trying to think of a way to make someone believe her. She doesn’t want to die. As she’s slowly walking down her street the pay phone outside of the corner store catches her eye. Going through her pockets and finding a quarter Darcy puts it in the pay phone. Quickly dialling 9-1-1 Darcy tells the operator her address and hangs up. If they find him hurting her they _have_ to believe her. She just hopes the cops get there soon. 

Darcy tries to run past her step-father when she gets home but he still grabs her. Instead of asking to be let go, Darcy starts to kick and hit him as best as she can. He doesn’t let go of her despite her kicks. He still pulls back his arm and hits her. He keeps hitting her. Darcy’s having a hard time keeping her eyes open but she keeps trying her best. She doesn’t want to die. She thinks she hears a police siren before her world finally goes dark.

She’s not dead, at least she doesn’t think she’d be in this much pain if she was dead. It hurts to just breathe. Part of her is tempted to just go back to sleep but she needs to know what happened. Forcing her eyes to open, she realizes she’s in a hospital bed. The lights in the room are thankfully dimmed. There’s a heart monitor annoyingly beeping away to the right of her hospital bed. She’s definitely not dead. She tries to smile but her face hurts. She’s alive and in the hospital, she’s safe now. Darcy let’s herself fall back asleep hoping she won’t be in so much pain next time she wakes. 

******

Darcy is twelve, about to finish tenth grade and hit a D cup, able to pass as fifteen to everyone she goes to school with, and on her seventh foster home when she sees the future for the second time. It’s been three years since she was moved from Allen, New York to New York, New York because in Allen there weren’t any available foster homes for her. Darcy much preferred the big city over that small town she hated so much. Darcy was moved forward another two years in school when they gave her placement tests upon her enrollment into the public school system. Within the first week in the city she’d visited the New York Public Library and became a regular there. Within a month of moving to the city she convinced the old man who ran the martial arts studio she walked past on her way to the library to let her take classes there in return for her help with the book keeping and taxes. Darcy’s foster homes so far haven’t really cared what she did or where she was as long as they got paid and she left them alone, it worked out well for them all until they got tired of her. Darcy is content with her life when it’s uprooted again by the future. It happens while she’s sleeping this time. 

She sees herself walking the same route she always takes to get from the subway station to the apartment building her current foster mother lives in. It’s dark, and there’s a feeling in the air that sets Darcy’s nerves on edge. She can tell her future self feels it too, she’s chewing on her lip and glancing around herself constantly. She’s passing the mouth of an alley when she’s grabbed. Darcy can’t help but think, how fucking stereotypical it is. She watches herself break the hold the man has on her, flip him onto the ground and stamp on his balls. Darcy watches herself not notice that the man who grabbed her wasn’t alone. Darcy watches herself leave her back exposed. Darcy watches his two friends grab her future self from behind. She struggles and fights as best as she can but she can’t get free. Darcy watches as the man on the ground gets up. He calls her a bitch and tells her that she’ll be paying for what she did. Darcy watches him pull a rag from his pocket and place it over her face. She realizes this is more than just a mugging. Darcy watches one of her kidnappers text someone and a couple seconds later her knocked out body is being carried to a van that just pulled up. Darcy wakes up. 

_Change it._

Immediately leaning over the side of her single bed she vomits all over the floor, barely even registering the words echoing in her mind. Once her brain is working again, Darcy makes a plan. Thinking about what she saw as she cleans up the vomit, Darcy realizes she recognized the faces of the men she saw kidnap her. The puzzle pieces all start to fall into place. Deciding to skip school, Darcy starts to make her way to the police station. She hopes this time she’ll be believed. Making a quick side trip to the library on the way to the police station, Darcy hacked a couple security cameras. She found and wrote down the dates, times and other details she needed for her plan and started for the station again. Darcy asked to talked to an officer at the front desk and then sat down to wait. 

Eventually an officer came out to talk to her. Darcy told the officer about the men she’d been seeing following her for the past couple weeks. Darcy had thought she was just being paranoid but from what she saw of the future and what she found on the security cameras proved that she was right about being followed. She tells them that she started keeping a record of when she thought she was being followed and by whom. She shows the officer the paper with times, dates and brief descriptions of men that she wrote down during her side trip to the library. She shows him the pattern to it. It’s bald guy, guy with glasses, long hair and a moustache guy, and then the janitor. Darcy tells the officer that pattern has been the same for almost three weeks and she only starts being followed after leaving school. Darcy tells the officer about the janitor. He’s a janitor at her school, his first name is John, and sometimes Darcy sees him watching her and following her around the school. It creeps her out. She tells him about how she thinks he tells the others when she leaves school so they can find her. He believes her. He tells her he’s going to go and talk with the janitor. She leaves the station hoping he does what he said he would. 

Darcy sees the news at the library. The officer she spoke with that morning is making a statement to the press. 

“Due to invaluable information provided by an anonymous person, we have unmasked and shut down a child sex trafficking ring that the NYC police department have been trying to track for years. The information led us to a high school janitor who selected children to be kidnapped. We then found encoded emails that led us to others working in elementary and middle schools who would select victims as well. We were then able to trace the trafficking ring to those that ran the operation. Many members and associates of this trafficking ring have been arrested. A total of 29 arrests were made during a raid this evening and we expect more to follow. We are working very hard to permanently shut down this illegal ring. We have currently recovered 12 missing minors, who are being treated for any health problems and reunited with any family. That is all for this evening, we will update the public if anymore information arises.” Darcy almost vomited again as his words sunk in but she managed to keep the little food she was able to stomach today down. 

As her stomach stopped rolling she started to feel the relief and pride building inside of her. She did it, she changed the future again. She got a lot of bad people arrested. And she _saved_ a bunch of other kids. She did it. Now she needed to talk to Mr. Wendell about extra martial arts classes. Maybe she’d try boxing too. 

********

Darcy Lewis is 18, and attending MIT when she finds herself seeing the future again. She’s sitting in her dorm room alone having just gotten back from her part time job. She’s contemplating what she wants to do next with her life. She’s been at MIT for four years now, and her four year scholarship is officially up in two months. The heavy course load she had in her freshman year combined with the university credits she earned in high school meant she was able to earn a bachelors degree in Engineering and Computer Science in that one year. It took her two more years to then obtain her masters degrees. She took extra courses while earning her masters just so she wouldn’t get bored, and her advisor informed her that she only need three more credits to earn a bachelors degree in Biological Chemistry. Only needing three credits this year left Darcy with a fairly empty schedule so she took extra classes once again just so she wouldn’t be bored. Darcy finished her needed credits and got her degree in the first school term. Her second term is filled with extra classes. As the term draws closer to the end, Darcy finds herself thinking about what’s next for her. She's got a few different options but she’s just not sure what it is she really wants. As she’s weighting her options for the hundredth time she suddenly finds herself no longer in her dorm. 

Darcy finds herself in a workshop in the robotics department of MIT, the calendar on the wall says it’s May. It’s still April in Darcy’s present, she’s never seen this far into the future. The door opens and she sees herself walk in. Darcy watches her call out for the robotics teacher who emerges from his office. 

“You wanted to see me?” Darcy asks him rather tensely, she’s never liked him. 

“Yes, my dear. I was hoping to give you an extra credit assignment.” He tells her smiling in what he probably thinks is a reassuring way. Both present and future Darcy think he looks more like he’s constipated. 

Darcy watches herself bite her tongue to keep from snapping that she doesn’t need the extra credit. He motions for her to follow him over to a table, she reluctantly follows. Standing beside him she looks at the table, at the supposed ‘extra credit assignment’. It’s just a few spare broken parts. Both Darcy’s turn to look at him confusedly. As she’s confused, he shoves her. Forcing her down onto the table and holding her down. Darcy stomps on his foot. His hold on her loosens and he backs up a little. She uses the extra slack and room to bring her leg higher and kick his knee. The crunch of his knee bending in the opposite direction it’s supposed to and his accompanying cry of pain are music to her ears. 

Darcy watches herself leave and immediately report the incident to her advisor and dean. Darcy watches as the professor says that _she_ is the one that attacked him. He tells them that she had wanted an extra credit assignment but he said no. He tells them that she then just went crazy and attacked him for no reason. Darcy watches as her advisor, dean and everyone else who hears about the incident believe him over her. Darcy watches how a week after trying to assault her, he has another girl come see him. Darcy tries screaming at the girl as she walks into the workshop. She closes the door behind her and suddenly a missing poster with the girls face is hung up on _his_ door. Then a poster with the words “rest in peace” written under her picture replaces the missing one. 

 

_Change it._

The words ring in her head as she finds herself in her dorm once more. Darcy is _livid._ She’s practically vibrating with anger. She knows what she needs to do. She will not allow him to hurt anyone else. Hacking into his computer is easy. Finding what she was looking for was even easier. A collection of videos in an encrypted file. She watches the first minute of one to make sure it’s incriminating, watches another girl walk into that workshop and him tell her he wants to give her an extra credit assignment. She can’t- won’t watch more than that, her stomachs already turning. Darcy anonymously sends the video files to the police. The next day, she watches as he gets arrested. 

Darcy’s decided to use the credits from all the extra history classes she took this year to get a degree in political science. She had already applied for a couple political science programs earlier in the year but hadn’t been completely sure if she really wanted to continue with school. She decides to leave MIT early and is able to arrange to take her final exams that week. She did not want to be there any longer than she had to be after what she saw. She buys a plane ticket, packs up her few belongings, and rents a small studio apartment until September. September is when Darcy Lewis will be starting Culver University.


	2. A Town of Ash

Darcy Lewis is exhausted by the time she finally crawls into bed. She’d been working all night finishing her final assignment for the extra international relations course she picked up just so she wouldn’t be completely bored out of her mind. The first rays of sunlight were beginning to shine through the spaces between the blinds and into her dorm room by the time she finally closed her laptop. She’s just glad she doesn’t have anything to do until the afternoon. 

Darcy dreams of a mad scientist. Her face is so pretty and delicate; but she’s got dark bags under her eyes and wild hair that hasnt been brushed in at least days. She looks so frail, like a hard wind would blow her away. But Darcy sees the steel in her spine that gives her such focus and determination that she forgets all other non-urgent things like brushing her hair. And her eyes shine in a way Darcy recognizes. She’s daring the world to take another shot at her, knowing she’ll get up again no matter what. She dreams of the mad scientist falling asleep after being up for days working on calculations. She dreams of a well meaning man letting her sleep and instead going for a drink; even though he knows she’d want to be awoken.  
Darcy sees a man, no, a _god_ be cast out of his realm. She sees his mistakes and flaws and watches him fall from the sky for them. She watches him stumble around before screaming at the sky. She watches until he falls to his knees pleading to go home as he realizes how truly alone he is at this moment. She watches another god, in another realm, fall to his knees as he realizes the truth of himself. She watches him fall in another way, unable to see the love that surrounds him. 

The mad scientist is truly mad when she wakes. She’s furious at herself for falling asleep and missing the strange storm she’d been tracking. She’s soon absorbed back in her numbers and star charts. 

The golden haired god eventually picks a direction and starts to walk. Darcy watches as he finds a town, watches him overhear a conversation between some men about checking out something that fell from the sky last night. He catches a ride with them to a crater. He fails to pull his hammer out just as the rest of the men there do. The blonde admits defeat and starts to walk through the desert once again. She watches him scream at the sky until his throat is raw when he is sure no one is watching. 

Darcy watches the dark haired god make choices out of pain. She watches him visit his brother to find him screaming obscenities at the sky. Darcy watches as he fills even further with hurt and anger as he watches his brother curse his name. He’s gone before his brother sees him. He sends a robot in an effort to destroy what he thinks is the source of his pain in an effort to be rid of it. When the robot finds the golden haired god, mortal and weakened from going without food or water for a day, it is over quick. The once god had been back in the town when the alien robot found him. The robot unleashed fire on the whole town in an effort to finish its mission. The once god died running. The mad scientist died in a car with strangers all trying to flee whatever was attacking the small town. The robot left no survivors. Agents arrive at the crater where the now dead god’s hammer is. The men are told to leave and an agent follows the parade of trucks in the standard black SUV to make sure they comply. They all arrive to a town reduced to ash.

Darcy awakes to one thought blaring through her mind even louder than her alarm.  


_Change it._

How the hell is _she_ supposed to change that? She’s just- just Darcy. She’ll try her best but what if that’s not enough? 

**Author's Note:**

> Not really sure what I’m doing with this. Just an idea that wouldn’t leave me alone.


End file.
